Captain’s Log: Nyoka White
Cassini Station, Titan– Defense Supervisor
Log 01:11
Saturn dominates the view again.
It always does. No matter how many years I spent observing him— first one the Kore and now on Cassini Station—Saturn has never let me forget that he is incharge. There is a beauty in the way that time seems to be suspended here, its unsettling when you think about how rhythmically the station practically runs itself. The sheer size of the planet makes Cassini seem like a small and obedient child, falling into place amongst his perfect rings spinning silently into the void. The swirling clouds of gas always shifting, like something is alive beneath them are hypnotizing to watch. I have spent more time watching them than I am happy to admit. There is just something about them that makes me just want to join them out in space. We built this steel, and glass bubble, and cling to it to feel safe against the same clouds, and rings that I find so beautiful. Despite this I know it is my job to protect those within the station. But outside? In the endless, indifferent and stern darkness? What protects it?
I have lived enough life to know that it is not defenseless. That is not just quiet, and waiting for an attack. That space beyond the window dominated by Saturn is something cold and calculating. Something aggressive, something that if allowed in would be unsafe.
The station’s running its routine diagnostics. Everything’s quiet. I wish I could say the same for myself.
Log Entry 05:00
Emari’s mission launched this morning. His first deep-space research envoy. Noella and I met him at the ship bay to say our goodbyes. He’ll be gone a few weeks with his time, charting the icy surface of Enceladus, and investigating a strange blotch that kept appearing on the long-range radar. It was hard to watch my wife and son hug each other for the last time. Noella clung onto him like he was still a babe, and I found myself hit by a pang of jealousy. I had spent so much of his childhood away charting on the Kore. I’m proud of him. Noella had done an excellent job of raising him in my absence even with her own research. He’s brilliant— smarter than I ever was. He’s got Noella’s mind for science, though his idealism…that's all me.
It was always the mission, the chase toward the unknown. At his age I wanted to map every star in the galaxy, see every anomaly, face every threat head-on. But now, I’d give anything to keep him safe on this station with me, far from the reach of the oppressive gaze of saturn.
But, he is not a boy anymore. He was a scientist. He was his own man. And his research on Enceladus could be one of the biggest breakthroughs in the last decade. Something that could finally break the frozen time on this ship. The blotch wasn’t always present, but as it disappeared it reappeared in the same location–it was rhythmic, consistent, living. Possibly the sign of life we have been hoping for. I should be thrilled, a discovery like this could make history. But, all I feel is dread.
But space–no Saturnian space has its own rules. Saturn doesn’t care about breakthroughs or legacies. He takes what he wants.
Log Entry 12:00
Colonel Darius d’Morris just left. I haven’t seen him in years. He looked different–older, worn. Space had a way of carving lines into your face, whether you're out there for a year or thirty. He had brought something strange for Noella: a relic from earth. A monkey’s paw, of all things. Dried up, mummified. He said that he had uncovered it in a seized box of smuggled Earth goods. Noella said that it was an old-world artifact from before the First Diaspora. That by some in her field–which I knew her well enough to know she meant her– could be considered ancient technology. I wanted to object, but D’Morris…he had this serious look on his face. Too Serious.
He said the paw was cursed. That it grants three wishes at a terrible cost. When he said it his gaze looked far away. This, of course, intrigued Noella, stuff like this is why she is on the Cassini in the first place. She was proof that our Earth stories would carry even into the deepest space with us. She asked if she could keep it, so she could look into an artifact of the earth’s superstitious past.
D’Morris agreed, he said that was why he had brought the paw here in the first place. That he had learned his lesson. He left after that. We laughed it off.
But, there was something that keeps bring my attention to it.
Log Entry 13:33
It was a stupid idea. The wine was talking, the paw felt like it was calling me. Stupid thing. Who believed in curses, and wishes? We lived in the realm of science. I picked up the paw, and said just that to Noella. And, then to the paw I said it. I said: I wish Emari’s crew finds life on Enceladus.
The index finger snapped as it folded down. A quick movement, so fast I barely could see it. I shouted and dropped the paw.
And the air shifted.
Log Entry 14:14
Distress call. Emari’s mission. They had just landed, just barely began to investigated the splotch. No the ooze. The signal was garbled, something about the ooze attaching to, consuming the ship. Pulling it into the ice. That it was alive.
We sent out a search and rescue immediately. All they found was debris, pieces of the ship half pulled into the icy surface. No crew. No Emari. Nothing.
Except a small energy signal, showing life beneath Encelasus’s ice. Proof that live can survive off earth.
And it cost Emari.
Log Entry 16:00
Noella’s devastated. She’s pacing mummering incoheerently. She keeps looking at that damned paw. I know what she’s thinking. Fuck, I’m thinking it too. She wants me to use it again.
I don’t believe in magic.Yet, I saw what the paw did. We both saw what the Paw did. Noella is begging me.
Log Entry 16:26
I wished Emari was alive again. Here, with us.
The second finger snapped louder than the first.
Log Entry 17:00
We waited. Nothing Happened.
I knew it was just a coincidence.
Emari is dead. What’s dead must stay dead.
Log Entry 18:00
There’s been knocking at the air lock for the last fifteen minutes. Soft at first, but now its getting louder. BANG! BANG! BANG! Can you hear it?
Noella says its him. Emari. She’s convinced the wish worked. She wants to open the door. I keep telling her not to. Something is wrong.
The knocking just stopped. Do you hear that?
“Mom.”
“Mom.”
“Mommy.”
“Let me in. I’m cold. Please”
“It’s so cold.”
Log Entry 18:20
Noella opened the door.
It’s Emari–or something that looks like him. His face gray, ice frosting parts of it so black. Like a bruised black berry. His eyes all white rolled back. His movement’s jerky like hes being controlled. His limbs twisted uncomfortably, walking on bent ankles. He’s speaking and he doesn’t sound right. His voice is flat, empty.
Noella is crying. Praising God. She can’t see it. She doesn’t understand. That–that is not Emari.
Log Entry 19:00
I had no choice.
I grabbed the paw and made the wish.
I wish him peace. Let him rest in peace.
The final finger snapped like thunder, and the air shifted.
Emari–whatever was left of him— collapsed and turned to dust.Gone. Gone for good.
The paw was no longer in my hand, instead returning to its box.
Noella is crying grasping at sand. All I can do was hold her.
END LOG.