fear is what is preventing you from building your dream life.

The Morning Hues, January 7th, 2026

dearest reader,

i am about to say somethings that may not be polite and could stir the beginnings of resentment between the two of us. so, if you don’t want any aspect of our relationship to change, this newsletter may be worth skipping.

because recently as a part of my self prescribed curriculum i found myself investigating pearlieee’s youtube video you’re too afraid to build the life you want.

it’s a well-made video—cleanly structured, rhetorically tight, and dotted with genuinely pullable quotes. and yet, i found myself disagreeing with much of what she said.

that isn’t to say she’s wrong. i’m certain there are thousands of people who are afraid to become who they need to be in order to achieve the life they want—people who need to hear that the life they desire is not impossible, not out of reach, not waiting for the right time or opportunity, but waiting for them to stop being afraid of the person they must become to have it.

but, that is not true for everyone who is discontent with their life

there are people who have already killed the version of themselves that plays it safe—and what they lack is not courage, but devotion.

let me cook.

i’m talking about the person who has done the therapy, read the books, named the wounds, and built an exquisitely soft life—one that can explain itself beautifully but cannot sustain pressure. the person who knows why they are the way they are, but has no practice doing what is uncomfortable once the explanation ends. they are not frozen. they are resting indefinitely. and rest, when it never converts into motion, becomes a decision.

one could argue that this lack of devotion is simply fear by another name. i disagree. what i see instead is laziness rebranded as gentleness.

with the rise of therapy speak, we have found many excuses to not show up for ourselves. even if we aren’t afraid we use the excuse (or explanation) that we are too tired, too hurt, too done to show up for the things that are hard to do. that is difficult.

that is not fear.

it is a decision.

you can conquer every fear you have, but if you routinely justify inaction by saying your mental health “just isn’t there,” that doesn’t make you brave or wounded—it reveals a lack of commitment. a lack of diligence. your desire is lacking, not your bravery.

pearlieee says that to build the life you want, you must stop solving new problems with old tools. but there is another possibility: the version of yourself you don’t recognize may be someone who doesn’t solve problems at all—someone who avoids them.

not from fear, but because that is how you have brought peace to a chaotic, injured nervous system.

you’re not negotiating with fear.

you’re refusing to evolve a nervous system that is desperate to remain still.

and yes, it’s true that no version of a dream life exists without you becoming different. but for many people, being different is now in active opposition to their healing. because those dreams were not built from curiosity or clarity—they were built from trauma, panic, and survival.

which means it may be worth finding a new dream. or at least a new path toward one—built from safety rather than endurance.

pearlieee is right when she says we must stop asking our future selves to clean up the messes our present selves refuse to address. but we also need to stop pressuring our future selves to succeed at dreams that no longer align with the nervous systems we’ve shaped while healing.

if you keep returning to a dream, it may be meant for you.

but the shape of it may belong to your trauma.

and that distinction matters.

see you tomorrow,

hues